Striving with Positivity: Positive Emotions
"Be a positive energy trampoline - absorb what you need and rebound more back." - Dave Carlan
Step 1: Positive Emotions
To have positive emotions, you can actively cultivate them (Seligman, 2011) and find out your Character Strength (Pawelski, 2017).
A1. Cultivate Positive Emotions
Barbara Fedrickson have come up with 10 ways to cultivate positive emotions (Pawelski, 2017).
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Joy
Discover joy in your life. Connect with people like going to a party. Or you can also enjoy quiet time like taking a leisure walk. (Pawelski, 2017). -
Gratitude
You feel you get more than what you deserve. You can reciprocate gratitude by doing small acts of kindness; like opening the door for someone (Pawelski, 2017). -
Serenity
You feel safe and familiar (Pawelski, 2017). For example, going to a nearby tennis court is safe and familiar to an amateur player. -
Interest
You are drawn to something new (Pawelski, 2017), like trying out a new restaurant or learning more about another person. -
Hope
When circumstances are not going our way, have hope and believe it can be better (Pawelski, 2017). When vaccines come out, Covid will be over. People will be back to their normal way of life. -
Pride
I make something happen (Pawelski, 2017). For example, I mastered the skills of snowboarding, now I can snowboard downhill. -
Amusement
You find something funny or entertaining like watching a movie or reading a book. It can also have a social element in it, like enjoying others’ company (Pawelski, 2017). -
Inspiration
You see the best in human nature, such as in heroic acts (Pawelski, 2017). I am amazed with those people who hide Anne Frank in a small town Amsterdam during Nazi occupation. If you have been to Amsterdam, you will know how compact the town is, and how easy to find someone in that town. -
Awe
You see something larger than yourself (Pawelski, 2017). I am in awe when I read about the news that scientists find water in the desert, and factories can recycle CO2 emission. -
Love
You feel loved in a close relationship, or by simply thinking about someone you care about (Pawelski, 2017). For example, thinking about my dog makes me feel safe and loved.
A2. How?
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By remembering a time when we felt them, and thereby relive positive emotions (Pawelski, 2017). For example, Sam feels grateful that his mom always give him a ride home after each tiresome soccer game when he was a kid.
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By acting like you are in a good mood actually helps to raise your mood (Pawelski, 2017).
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Seeking out emotionally positive situations like hanging out with friends (Pawelski, 2017).
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By being more mindful of our feelings (Pawelski, 2017). Ask the question, “How am I feeling now?”
B1. Character Strength
You can increase your well being by using your Character Strength. Most humans have 24 Character Strengths, but we dominate a few of them (Pawelski, 2017). For example, one of my top 5 Character Strengths is Bravery. Bravery brings me a lot of joy in my life; I speak up against injustice. I tried sky diving, frequently tries out new restaurants or attend new events in the community. By exploring new things and events, it gives my life a lot of options. Whenever I try something new, I reward myself for trying, not for how good the outcome is. You can find out your top 5 Character Strengths through this website: https://www.viacharacter.org/character-strengths-via. It is free, they just keep data for research purpose. One hint: be very good with your top 5 Character Strengths. It will help you strive in life. Apply your Strengths to all aspects of your life (Pawelski, 2017).
Wisdom Courage Humanity
Creativity Bravery Love
Curiosity Perseverance Kindness
Judgment Honesty Social Intelligence
Love of Learning Zest
Justice Temperance Transcendence
Teamwork Forgiveness Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
Fairness Humility Gratitude
Leadership Prudence Hope
Self-regulation Humour
Spirituality
B2. Positive Emotion Exercises
1. Savouring the Future
We can do “anticipatory savoury” in planning goals, and connecting what we feel like in the future (Pawelski, 2017). “Anticipated recall” is telling a story to a friend about the future (Pawelski, 2017). For example, Tommy tells his friend Jason that Tommy will meet the love of his life in the future. Tommy will go for walks on the beach with his wife and their dog. His wife will frequently remind him that they need to go home, because his wife wants to take care of their kids.
2. 3 Events in Childhood, and 3 Blessings in Current Life
Think about 3 events which happened in childhood and 3 blessings in current life for one week (Pawelski, 2017). Every day, think about 3 different childhood memories (Pawelski, 2017). Research shows that this exercise increases well being (Pawelski, 2017).
For example, I live in Canada most of my life. Not only are most Canadians friendly, but they are more likely to reason with people. I think this upbringing shaped who I am as a person now. It is a blessing that one of my Character Strengths is Judgment or Critical Thinking. Being a reasonable person helps me think and act independently. After all, what separate us from animals is human capacity of reasoning. Although we are evolved, we still have animal instincts. We attach meanings to our actions, we do not do things just because we can nor simply driven by our instincts.
One martial art expert said, “If you don't back your words by force, your words have no strength”. True enough, we need to use our animal instincts, aggression, in this instance. But reasonable person do not just act according to their instincts, they justify it. They decide when it is necessary to be assertive. Being a reasonable person helps me avoid a lot of conflicts with people.
I find that most people are happy to work something out with you, knowing that they are sharing space with you in a community. I think the only time that Martial Law is applicable is when we deal with people who are under immense stress, temporarily incapable of reasoning and acting violently, or when we deal with sociopaths or psychopaths. They are those without conscience and constantly look for others to blame.
B3. Theme
Past (memory) + Now (motivation & perception) => Future (prediction)
One theme of these exercises is what we selectively remembered serves as motivation to predict our future (Seligman, 2017). Depressed people only recall negative events, which they use to predict future as dark (Burns, 2009). “Memory is the service of future” (Seligman, 2017).
B4. Eat Well, Sleep Well, Exercise, Meditate, Humour
Remember to eat nutritious food. Have good quality sleep. An average adult needs 7 to 9 hours of sleep per day. Exercise is associate with good mood, good health, and productivity (Burchard, 2017). Start by walking around the block. Some people like “Two by two”. It is two 20 minutes weight lifting exercise, plus two 20 minutes cardio exercise per week. Get a personal trainer if you are not motivated to work out (Burchard, 2017).
Meditation sounds like ancient wisdom, but it is proven to reduce stress, alleviate depression and anxiety, and enhance positive emotions (Burchard, 2017). If you think a lot, like a lot of people do thinking jobs these days, it is a good idea to relax your mind by meditating. According to the Calm app, 10 minutes a day is all you need to maintain mental health.
Humour can help you through tough times. At least, that was how some Jews survived the concentration camps during WWII (Frankl, 2006). Humour also increases productivity (Burchard, 2017). Research shows watching a comedy clip before work increases productivity (Burchard, 2017).